The Gospel according to St. Mario

Imagine there is this video game.  This video game is so advanced, that the creator has actually managed to create sentient working minds in the characters inhabiting the game.  They are coded and programmed to have a working, although virtual mind, designed after the human brain.  Now imagine, Mario is the star of our game, and Mario is beginning to have some rather deep thoughts.

To begin with, Mario is aware of the fact that he exists.  He lives in a complicated ordered world.  There are physics which keep him grounded, and which help him stomp Goombas.  He can predict how these physics work by studying them and by knowing that each time he has jumped, for example, he has come back down.  Mario is a curious mind and he begins to study more and more of the natural world he has found himself in.  There is a fixed color scheme.  No other colors seem to exist.  Each object is actually made of tiny objects, and after a great discovery, it seems each tiny object is the product of an underlying code which decides it's colors, shapes, and properties.  The world is a strange and interesting place.  Mario's scientific inquiry shows him that nothing is as it seems at first glance. 




Mario goes along in his world, fighting some Koopa Troopers, wearing Tanooki suits, and avoiding falls to his death.  Along the way, Mario glitches and falls through a floor, and falls endlessly.  He sees that nothing of meaning exists below the floor.  It seems that outside of his meaningful environment, which has a place for him, and a purpose for him, he has found endless nothing.  Upon dying as a programmed fail safe for endless falling, Mario reappears in Mushroom Kingdom with one less life, but what he saw makes him very pensive.  There is nothing beyond his world. 

But what of his world?  Why is it here?  What does it mean?  The only natural inclination Mario seems to have is to move to the right.  To what purpose?  What will he find?  Endless Goombas mock him, long ago deciding they will move left instead. 

This is Mario's life.  This is all he is and all he has.  He cannot know more.  His senses exist as parts of the world he inhabits.  His inquiry into the nature of his world has benefits, but ultimately he can only know what his tools can show him, and all his tools are encoded products of his world as well.  Mario has a sinking feeling that there is a purpose to his life, and he feels like there must be someone somewhere who brought it all into existence, but he can't be sure.  Luigi does not worry about such things, and while Mario cannot provide evidence for his belief, walking through the land he notices that there is always another platform.  He has never been stuck.  There is always a way for him to go to the right, and he believes that this is on purpose.  Mario timidly believes that there is a creator, and that his world has a meaningful purpose.  Where is this creator?  Why doesn't he reveal himself to Mario? 

In our world, at the same time, Mario's creator Shigeru Miyamoto watches Mario and feels incredibly proud of his creation.  He sees Mario growing and learning, and watches him become more and more.  Miyamoto wishes desperately to tell his masterpiece how proud of him he is.  He wishes to tell those in the Mushroom Kingdom that they have a purpose, and a designer who feels very deeply for them.  The question is, how can he do this?

Mario ponders a strange anomaly found in an ancient cave.

Miyamoto is not capable of communicating to his creation normally, because he lives in a totally different and far more complicated world.  Mario's ears are not programmed to hear Miyamoto's voice.  Nor could they be.  Miyamoto must resort to other methods.  He resolves to encode messages into his game.  He tries manipulating Mario's world in a way that cannot be naturally explained.  Surely this would prove a transcendent being is sending a message.

The problem is that only those present would get the message.  Furthermore, Miyamoto cannot constantly interrupt the natural order of his creation for each citizen of the Mushroom Kingdom.  Everyone knows that constant cheating and world manipulation can ruin the game.  This game was in fact created with a purpose that Miyamoto doesn't want to mess up.   He seeks to guide it along, not interrupt it.  So for a time Miyamoto expects those who witnessed his intervention to spread the word.

A mysterious cave reveals to Link something exists
beyond his own world.  But who is Chris Houlihan?

At long last he cannot take it anymore, and decides he will create an avatar for him to play in the game world itself.  While it would be impossible for his creations to understand Miyamoto himself, he could still make a version of himself which they could understand and communicate to them that way.

So Miyamoto begins to explore his creation.  When he meets up with Mario he is overjoyed and begins to tell Mario how proud he is that Mario has become so wonderful.  He hugs Mario and tells him all about the process of his creation, about whether he should have had a top hat instead, and many other things. 

Mario is shocked.

Who is this guy?  Why does he think he is the creator?

He is just another sprite, a character no more amazing than any other.

Miyamoto tells Mario, "I am not of this world, but from a higher one."  Mario cannot understand, because he has climbed the tallest vines and there is nothing up there.  Miyamoto can only explain it in cryptic ways, because there is no way for Mario to understand a world he has not and cannot ever see, a world which is beyond his comprehension because it is beyond his own existence, and every tool of knowledge Mario employs cannot reach beyond his existence.

Miyamoto tells him:  "I encoded your being, I hold it together, I predestined each level, I know each of your battles, I have seen you in the grassy plains and the dark castles.  When you are weak I provide the mushroom, when you are strong, I bring on a tough foe.  Truly I tell you, before you had ever taken your first step forward, I was there.  Long after the end boss I will be there still.  Be assured I am with you, and you will crush Bowser under your heel, and lead the Mushroom Kingdom to victory over its enemies.  I have foreordained it."

Mario feeling very confused and disturbed decides it's time to back away.  Miyamoto realizes that he cannot simply persuade Mario, and decides to reveal himself in a grander way. 

Miyamoto, using debugging tools, drops an enormous mass of mushrooms in front of Mario.  Miyamoto changes the air to water, and Mario takes a swimming pose in the middle of the sky.  Mario stares in disbelief.  Miyamoto materializes Bowser in a dress, then just as quickly sends him flying into the air with a snap of his fingers.  Miyamoto continues to rain items down with a grand smile until Mario is convinced that this man is not a normal character.  From then on Mario chooses to believe everything Miyamoto says.

From him Mario learns tricks, including warp whistles, which levels have secrets (like unlocking a mushroom house by gathering all the coins)  how to best take out Lakitu, and the number of levels left until the final boss.  He fills up Mario's open slots with P wings and sends him on his way with the message that the creator is very proud of his creation and loves them all dearly.  Mario spends a great deal of time telling the story and explaining to everyone he can find that Miyamoto exists and will ensure the Mushroom Kingdom's success.  Some believe.  Many don't.  Mario can do nothing but retell the story until Miyamoto one day returns.









In the same way, God has shown miracles to His people, and expressed himself in incredible ways which were expected to be shared through the generations, like the plagues of Egypt and the splitting of the Red Sea.  Jesus was God himself, come down into a form we could understand, and He showed who He was by His power finally being crucified to bear sin and the curse of the Law for us, and resurrected in power to lead the way to glory. 

This painting called Crucifixion (Corpus Hypercubus) by Salvador Dali shows Christ being crucified on a cross which is actually an expression of a four dimensional cube (called a tesseract) unfolded into three dimensions.  Our minds cannot understand a four dimensional cube.  This represents God's transcendence being shown to us in a way we could understand:  God come down as man. 

Posts from around 2007 that don't embarrass me #4

Wherein thinking about my muscles leads to examining my fate

Much to my surprise, my muscles are growing.  Not really.  I'm not so caught up in myself that I must fix my image in order to feel like I am accomplishing something.  I am supposing however, that perhaps one day, I will be called to action, to take up the honorable cause of protecting a child, or perhaps a woman.  (really, and don't hate me, I believe a woman is much finer, and much more a a woman, when she does not take steroids, and does not have wild testosterone production in her body.)  I think this would be enough honor for my life.  If I could, say, give up my own self, for that of a helpless child, perhaps of a wonderful lass, I do believe that I would feel my life's purpose fulfilled.  I would need nothing else. 
I may very well WANT something else.  A wonderful marriage, perhaps.  Something like a billion kids, who all look like me and my life's love in small ways.  Maybe a relaxing number of years, wherein I feel comfortable in only my underwear, or maybe on a boat.  I should say I desire a girl who, with nothing to do on thursdays, learns to dance with me.  What type of dance?  Swing.  I should very well thank Amos for that revelation.   (2013 edit:  I am not cut out for it so far)
We could stop and make sure we are not so caught up in the troubles of life, that we cannot enjoy the grass, or the moon and stars.  Even the children playing "white trash tag" and "war", and building sandcastles at the park.  Sure they are evil down to their core nature, and our society that spares the rod, is spoiling it's children.  Yet, they are still adorable.  He still loves them, and He still carries them in his loving arms.  It's breathtaking knowledge. 

These things are still my desires, and not my needs.  I am not so concerned with myself, that I should work towards these desires, until I am sure I have a divine permission.  If I am to die the death of a martyr, I should not feel glad to condemn my offspring to foster homes, where they will not be taught properly, or loved like only a father can love them. 
Should I attain the title of "Father" someday, I would have it be more important than everything, on par with the love of my wife, although far below my love for my own Heavenly Father.  And in His love, my love would be a stark contrast to the worldy love of so many broken faithless couples. 
This I desire more than anything.  To love my wife, and my children.  To shower them with sparkling joy, a rich sorrow, a deep enduring faith, to which I will cultivate in their hearts a longing for our Lord that may surpass my own, so they may carry out our Father's will in their own bleak future.  Yet, this is only my desire. 
My need is simply this.  To protect.  To love.  To obey.  And perhaps, to die, in courage and honor, in the name of our Lord.
It is 11:52 on tuesday night, July 24, 2007.  With joy I wait patiently for what is next. 

(2013 edit:  In June I will have a son named Benaiah.)

Posts from around 2007 that don't embarrass me #3

I used to be an astronaut!

I clung to the controls,
flying past the stars.
colors blurred together,
I used visit mars.

I met myself a monkey,
touched down by an antennae.
He seemed to be upset,
until I gave him a banana.

I dropped him off at earth,
we didn’t see eye to eye.
he didn’t have a soul,
and he made the place a stye.

My mind grew overwhelmed,
It went out of control.
I began to lose perspective,
isolation took it’s toll.

I took the stars for granted,
I scoffed at all creation.
I stopped searching for knowledge,
I docked at a space station.

I sat down at a bar,
I smoked some cigarettes.
I was bitter about everything,
I started making up regrets.

I listened to this band,
they wore make-up and dyed hair.
They sang about their sorrow,
About how life just wasn’t fair.

I was mad at myself,
for acting just the same.
These kids are doing just fine,
They’re faking and it’s lame.

I got up off my chair,
I tried to think up answers.
maybe I should find a girl,
amongst the trendy dancers.

She could save me from some things,
the boring life I lead.
maybe she could meet,
These lame emotional needs.

I tripped over my stool,
I fell flat on my face.
I dreamt in Japanese,
And awoke in a strange place.

On a stretcher in the medbay,
I cough and choke and laugh.
Where did I go wrong?
I smile at the medical staff.

blood runs down my face,
I must have broken my nose.
I dab it on my fingers,
I smile and wiggle my toes.

I begin to draw a picture,
of stars and suns and moons.
they dance in halogen light,
my astronaut cartoons.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I used to be an astronaut,
I used to travel a lot.
I don’t really ever miss it,
I wouldn’t mind if I forgot.

I’m sure someone else wants it,
I would bless you on your mission.
All I ever earned
was a bitter disposition.

Now I’m sleeping in a house,
light shines through in the morning.
I work in fields and sing songs,
I offer children this one warning-

It’s not as simple as being yourself,
or following your own dreams.
Someone may have played you,
They bred in you those schemes.

You’ll find what you want,
Is not at all what you thought.
you’ll follow all their dreams,
you’ll be everything they’ve taught.

You’ll find pleasure in the sky,
yet, it will not last long.
You’ll feel the desperation,
You’ll feel you don’t belong.

I was there once I know,
my heart was filled with taint.
It took me breaking my nose,
and playing with fingerpaint-

to finally realize,
I used to love my life.
I think I just wanted love,
maybe a child and a wife.

who knows?

Posts from around 2007 that don't embarrass me #2

Ben the Robot

I am bold, sharp, and I am restless;
I am heartless but not without emotion.
I've never often confessed this;
I'm a cyborg with a passion for destruction!

I don't run on electricity...
I'm not too partial to math, you see..
I look sort of rough, but you need not feel pity,
I cough and I laugh, and I kiss this girl who's pretty.

I'm like the bad guy from Ferngully,
I'm hated and I eat pollution;
Born of disaster in Chernobyl, the city, (sidenote:  Chernobyl's disaster happened the year I was born)
I'm made of nuclear retribution.

I'm the resolution to your evolution,
You feel pain? I am the solution,
I am a herald of absolution,
I am the mode of execution.

I'm a walking talking time bomb,
you can't really get far enough away,
but I'm not too bad to hang around,
so just ease back and enjoy the day. 

Posts from around 2007 that don't embarrass me. #1

Something that has made me cry, in an effort to understand why

I am still not an emotional kid.  I am not a sissy.  I am set against the world, and daily refined to meet it head on.  I do not cry for stupid reasons, and it is not often.  So here is something that has made me cry, perhaps in some effort to learn something, or at least to be self-reflective. 

1.  Lord of the Rings - when the people of (the R word nation, the horse guys) are on their way to Helms Deep, they are attacked (by worg riders).  The blond girl with the crazy eyes says "stay together" while leading the people. 

For some reason, out of the blue, her simple statement "stay together" gets me right in the heartstrings. 

Why? - I think lately I have been dwelling on despair.  I have thought of depravity, of murder, of godlessness.  Everything I call abominable.  I have felt surrounded by darkness.  The shows I watched, the movies I watched, the music I listened to, the games I played, the news, the words of educated and common men with no fear of God- they are all burdening me so much.  They did not bother me before, but now they scream at me.  The suffering, the darkness, the hopelessness...  It feels like it is surrounding me.  I do not feel alone, I do not lack hope myself.  It is my brothers and sisters I am so anxious for. 

I fear that my brothers and sisters have fallen for a quick three step program to becoming a Christian, and now, being weak and ill prepared are attacked on many sides.  They get, at best, an hour of inspirational talk every Sunday.  They do not take sin seriously.  They are shocked when the world hates them, not knowing it hated Christ first.  The loud and confident words of godless men, unrelenting, cause doubt.  My brothers do not know the power of God, and their strength is so weak.  They turn away, and to what?  Weakness causes them to seek an escape from adversity. 

I am burdened, and I throw myself in with them.  If they would die, "than I will die as one of them."  These are mine too, as I am theirs.  Be they Baptist or Lutheran or Christian or otherwise.  If they would serve Christ, even if in weakness they may not know how, I would be theirs, for I am weak too.  I've felt like we are surrounded. 

Somehow this was on my mind as I watched this classic movie.  The hopelessness in this movie when all continually seems lost is something I resonated with.  Of course, so is the call for hope.  Somehow, by some artistic providence, this little scene matched perfectly the thoughts I am burdened with.  The people, poor and weak, previously manipulated, are going to some stronghold.  In their weakest they are attacked.  The strong ride out to meet the enemy(and my heart beats quickly) and she shouts, as I have heard in my own time in my own context "stay together." 

This is my own plea. 

Assassin's Creed Thoughts

I am a fierce Christian.  Meaning I am attractive, way too intelligent, very capable, able to open beer with my eye sockets, carry a small family on my back, and able to reload a combat shotgun with 8 in the magazine and one in the chamber in less then 2 seconds.  The list goes on.  Well, wait, I am getting off track.  What I mean is, I am a Christian of the variety that would die before giving up my faith.  I would hold onto my faith despite shame from every individual in the world, and die shamed hated and faithful.  If by some weakness I could not uphold these words, I at least now work and fight to be such a man.  Because my bottom and central identity is that of a Christian, a biblical one, fully aware of every horror in the Bible, and fully aware of the glory of the Character of God,  I must always judge everything that comes my way from that perspective.  I love stories and that love manifests itself as a love of books, movies, and these days, video games. 

In any case, today I may have a job, so to celebrate the fact that I have leisure time again, instead of just worthless unemployed limbo, I am playing Assassin's Creed 3.  During the first game they established that Moses and Jesus were liars who only used the alien technology called the pieces of Eden to manipulate large crowds.  This was a huge bummer for me as I am at the bottom of it all a sincere Christian, and also a lover of good narrative, and this series has some excellent historical tie-ins.  I love to invest in characters, and consider what they are going through.  I love to do my best to dive into the narrative.  For this game I have to sort of "suspend my belief" to get into the narrative.

So here I am so many games in, and the sole drive of the characters is to save the world.  From a sun flare.  It's getting a little tough to enjoy.

I see that there are ancient humans with a higher existence, which ancient cultures based their religions on.  Cool.  I once found that the whole drama between the Templars and Assassins was cool.  However, after the first few hours as Haythem Kenwhatever, the big twist comes (spoiler) where it turns out he is a Templar and not an Assassin.  So I've got this time spent as a Templar, which was largely the exact same as what it's like to be an Assassin.  The only difference is one seeks order and control, and the other seeks to mess up the order and control.  Big freakin whoop!  I have a very hard time understanding why our culture can feel like they are the good guys in this game, instead of just one of the types of guys there is.  I am not dumb enough to just jump behind anarchy for the hell of it.  Why fight for anything but what is right?  or what is good? but we have established that there is no "good" and so I am forced to march on to relativist garbage, feeling no real motivation to do anything I am compelled by the game designer to do.  The Assassin's say themselves in the Assassin's Creed that "nothing is true and everything is permissible."  If I suspend my belief in God for the sake of immersing myself in a narrative, the first thing that I think is "if the protagonist follows the creed, who gives a grand crap what the templars do?" Nothing matters at all. 

This ruins the story.  Why am I killing people?  Why is it an Assassin's job to save the world?  Don't the Templars want to save the world too if just for themselves?  And ultimately, why save the world?  I don't give a bag of butts what happens to a godless world.  This place is a cesspit.  If there is no redemption or sanctification in the universe, then it would be best if all the filth and horror and all the illusory beauty and bullcrap ethics were just put out of their no-god-forsaken misery. What is the ultimate goal of the game?  To ensure that the horrors of existence persist longer.  How awful!  With no hope, what is the point of fighting for more pain and sorrow and horror?  If there is no value in what is good, and no point in what is beautiful (beyond the useless need to perpetuate your own worthless DNA), then what is the point?  How awful to go on chasing beauty or pleasure like a drug, always reeling afterwards from withdrawel, needing more and more each time to feel ok?  Dying old, miserable, weak, and with ultimately no real meaning and no real affect on the bullcrap existence you suffered through?

So, allowing myself to go along with the narrative, I am compelled to root for Brother Sun.  

Burn this suck world out of its misery. 

I haven't finished it yet, but something tells me the natural desire of the writer will not be to die in a fireball, and they will probably go for the whole "survive the apocalypse" trope. 

Update:  I have finished it, and I am sincerely bummed out to find that even if the sun destroys the world, suck will go on.  The ultimately negative portrayel of my faith reborn through Desmond was a bit agitating (though I am an open minded individual, I am also a closed hearted individual, so I try to go along with it for narative.) It seems the the writers are communicating a belief about Christianity in the alternative future vision.  The belief would be that Jesus was just such a man, who taught good things, which were twisted and He was unknowingly deified by his followers.  This reflects many beliefs, and certainly the entire liberal half of Biblical scholarship, but us believers have our reasons to believe otherwise, and it is always a bummer to see these ideas perpetuated in media to the masses I am to take the gospel to.  Although, it's fine, I don't mind too much, if the Holy Spirit does not move on you, you may not have any reason to really believe Jesus was and said He was, God.  I did find that the portrayel of the "good teaching" which became used for evil was also a reflection of how they see historical Christianity.  I am ok with this.  I still enjoy how even the fiercest haters of my faith can be impressed with the teachings of Jesus.  I honor the tendency of men to do this as a good thing.  

The naval battles were way cool, the homesteading missions were a delight, though TOTALLY out of place. "Hello, oh you want to date this huntress? I will help you get her a gift... hold on while I kill tons of men and woman for a poorly defined cause I have no reason to feel passion for. Ok I am back, give her away at the wedding? absolutely!"

I did not hate Desmond, and it is a bit of a bummer to see him go.  I hope he lives on some transcendent way.  All in all, worth my time, and a very useful way to keep at least the basement dwelling culture talking about history, origins and faith, albeit in a very skeptical, history doubting/hating and weasel faced sort of way. 

Final Note:  I would love to dink around in an Animus for years.  It would replace every other way I spend time.  I realize most if not all of my ancestors would be totally boring, but think of all the awesome stuff you could learn about history, and how many awesome trades would you learn?  Maybe I could come out an artist, able to actually write, a fine preacher, a sailor, a commander of troops, or maybe I could get experience as a king, experience with a sword, knowledge of how to be a cooper, how to breed horses, who knows.  How interesting to be a good father, or a child abandoned, a war deserter, a hero, just some regular farmer.  It'd be amazing to hear news of events I learned about through history.   No matter what your pedigree, you could come out with excessive lifetimes of valuable experience, and plenty of valuable knowledge.  You would be a different person altogether, with a soul ancient and wise far far far beyond your years.

Shotgun Pattern 4

I am beyond the point of return for my temporary lay off.  I don't think I'm going back.  I hate not working, so I have been looking for a job here and there, but I guess now it's time to begin in earnest.  I know for a fact I am not in this position for no reason.  The question would be, what is the reason?  Am I here because there is something special in store for me, some job not available yet?  Am I here to reorient my life, set new goals that God wants me focused on?  Am I just being disciplined for some deep hidden sin?  I know God has used "cleanness of teeth" as a way to discipline His people awake (Amos 4) to return to His righteousness, and I call myself part of his people since the sheet vision and the conversion of Cornelius (Acts 10).  I sincerely would not be displeased to find that there was some continuing sin in our lives that needed our attention.  After all, Jesus promises that if we seek the Kingdom and seek God's righteousness, all the necessities of life would be added to us.  He knows that I know this.  Could the danger of poverty awaken me to the fact that i am not seeking his righteousness?  The pain of struggling would do that, but as difficult as this time has been, it has still been true that we are well cared for by His providence.  I'm not saying he starves us at all, only that God is fully aware that I already equate livelihood with righteousness.  If He chose to send a message that way, He knows I would get it.  Because I know I would get it, and He knows what I know. 

There are more things to consider.  For example, since being laid off I have been blessed to get more involved at church.  This creates a real problem for me.  While I someday hope to be a minister in the right capacity, something about going to ministry because I am unemployed feels weak.  I guess I always thought I should overcome work, and become a minister in strength, not because I got laid off.  But if God wanted me to reorient my life, this could be a way of sending a message.  I do feel like I was not involved in the work of the kingdom while simply working as an electrician.  Since such a life bore no fruit, maybe I lost it, to be disciplined and reoriented.  STILL, it feels like a crap move to try to hop into ministry since I apparently can't hack it in the real world.  That's not what happened, I was just layed off due to lack of work, but it still feels like it. 

I could easily imagine something more grand coming out of this.  My son's name is Benaiah, meaing YHWH builds up, or the Lord builds up.  I named him that because I thought it was a strong fitting name, but part of it was that he was a total surprise.  How OT is it to name your child after circumstances surrounding his birth, amiright?  Me and Rachel had planned on living in a Motor home, sacrificing comfort and space, in order to produce more money then we spend to survive.  I made a lot while an electrician living here.  If that could have continued, I'd be doing great.  I got laid off, and then two days later I had a son on the way.  God made that happen.  Not in a miraculous way, we did the work, but the timing was not our timing.  Now we have a whole different life to plan for, and things have just been crazy.  I've gotten to do jobs for people, I did some home improvement work for a few friends, and I got to spend time with my nephew, all of which felt timely and took care of money issues, and encouraged my soul.  So it could be that I am just waiting for some grand thing to happen.  All of this is planned for glory, not destruction.  I don't know. 

I don't think I have begun behaving too differently since moving here, so I've got kinda this Jobish "what the heck?" deal here.  I'm still a sinner, don't get me wrong, but I live a posture of repentance, there is nothing left unrepented at the moment.  I trust in Grace, and follow Christ the best I can, even if at times it is a crawl.

I got the opportunity to teach the Book of Ruth to middle school kids.  Until volunteering I had no experience with them.  There was the time I WAS one, and there is the way I glare at them as they swagger home from school cussing and littering.  I hope it is not too dull when I explain the laws surrounding redemption of the land, (Lev 25:23) the welfare for poor and foreign (Lev 19:9-10) or the kinsman redeemer law (Deut 25:5-10) being the center of Ruth's drama.

It's tough to describe a love story which is so great when understood in its own terms, but so far from us in our modern culture.  And never mind that I'll be talking to middle school kids about something their parents have probably never heard. 

I guess I need to get on some activities or illustrations to keep them edu-tained. 

Samson: My Pet Peeves

I have grown up in the church, and that has meant a lot of different types of churches.  Sunday school lessons have ranged from high tech presentations to flannel graphs and coloring books. 

I believe strongly that Samson has never gotten a fair portrayal. 

Poor Samson is always presented as a muscly doofus who is not able to comprehend that Delilah is trying to screw him over.  I read the text, and I'd like to think I feel it.

First of all, I don't think he was muscly or the Holy Spirit being his power wouldn't be such a big deal.  God usually expresses his power through weakness, so people will know it was Him.

More importantly, I don't think he is stupid at all, I just think he is a total mess.  Samson's story should always be seen as a story about massive trouble with the ladies, and the power of a woman's nagging.  

I think I feel it because as a fool with women, I have acted just as stupidly against my own upbringing and convictions as Samson has.  Plus, dudes wife betrayed him, was given to his "best man", then got burned, that'll mess you up.  Furthermore, at the marrying age, emotions can be tricky.  Ask all the youths out there who are being incredibly stupid about their boy or girl.  Survey how many of them believe that their squeeze is bad for them.  How many of those surveyed continue to act stupidly and march on into their self-destructive relationship?  Knowing Better isn't enough, and all of us troubled idiot kids listening to lovesick music and writing poetry all over our backpacks have been there. 

Now, is Samson a high school kid?  Probably not.  He begins looking for a wife but once the violence starts it says he judged Israel for 20 years.  It says this after his jawbone slaughter and repeats it after his death.  I imagine that was the length of time he was killing Philistines.  Whatever age he was, I feel like I know Samson, and though what I describe may still sound like stupidity, it is not brainless doofiness.  It's my kind of stupidity.  My problem is he is portrayed as an oblivious brainless meat head.

About his "stupidity" first of all consider that Samson is NOT telling Delilah his secrets.  He is making crap up, because he knows what she wants, but he's trying not to give in.  Read this:
"It came about when she pressed him daily with her words and urged him, that his soul was annoyed to death."  Judges 16:16
That's not a dummy letting slip a detail, that is a wreck of a man giving up in what he KNOWS is a self-destructive relationship.  I imagine she was hot and cuddly, and as a weak bastard he felt sick about it. I feel like some of us can relate to that better than we admit.

A N Y W A Y S

The unimportant pet peeve is that his hair is NEVER right.  I hope it is right somewhere and I just haven't seen it yet, but in my life no one has ever done even a half decent job portraying his hair. 

"Then the angel of the Lord appeared to the woman and said to her, 'Behold now, you are barren and have borne no children, but you shall conceive and give birth to a son.  Now therefore, be careful not to drink wine or strong drink, nor eat any unclean thing.  For behold, you shall conceive and give birth to a son, and no razor shall come upon his head, for the boy shall be a Nazirite to God from the womb; and he shall begin to deliver Israel from the hands of the Philistines.'" Judges 13:3-5


Here is the problem. 

Here is a boy who has never cut his hair.  He is 5.
 

 

To this day, among famous artists and ancient depictions alike I have never seen a Samson with hair longer than this.  Now imagine you decided Samson is around 20.  Remember, Samson had 7 locks. 

"She made him sleep on her knees, and called for a man and had him shave off the seven locks of his hair. Then she began to afflict him, and his strength left him."  Judges 16:19

If that means braids or whatever, fine, but simply imagine your idea of a marrying aged man (then maybe add 20 years to that) whose hair is made of 7 locks with this guy who has 20 year old dreadlocks.   

If your idea of Samson is not at least as grizzly as this guy, I think you aren't picturing him right. 


I leave you with this beer:

Shotgun Thought Pattern Update 3

It DID start to suck in the future (sort of).  I got laid off (temporarily I hear) so for a little while now I have been out of work.  And not just, "better find a job" out of work, but actually just stuck at home waiting to go back to my job.  I went out for some jobs that are better than mine, but otherwise because we are able to make it on unemployment, It's been wiser to wait for my good job to come back. 

This is weird.  I have no money, but I'm not really being worthless.  It's a humbling time in my life.  Not only because I have nothing to boast about in myself, but also because it is clear that God has done this for a reason.  We have more peace and joy on a day to day basis then we should.  The time we've spent with the family is more meaningful than it has been.  Unexplainable joy.  There is substance to our lives in this period of weakness that doesn't fit.  It sounds like something right out of an epistle.  We are very thankful. 

And the most uncanny part of it is how we found out we were going to have a child the very day after I got laid off.  This was not planned, nor were we very careless.  It was obviously... (maybe not obvious to everyone, but the kind of thing where my inner man knows and laughs) ...a message.  God is our livelihood.  He gives the job, He takes away.  He opens the womb, He closes it.

I've also been given the opportunity to watch my Nephew Aaron as a kind of man nanny, and that has been a blessing.  It's very fun to hang out with him, and between all the messes and fits it feels like great practice.  I get to spend the days contributing which is good for my soul, and I get to be blessed in the process.  

We've signed up for some government help, which feels weird.  I certainly don't care to rely on it, but I do appreciate how the government has methods of helping people out.  My political view isn't important here.  What has been meaningful is the new world I've encountered.  Being humbled to the point of needing to rely on government assistance (which once was anathema to you) is a certain way to tear down your own exalted image of yourself.  I feel more compassion for the lowly, my people, who need help.  I don't think that the current system is the best way to help, but again, that's beside the point.  I know this is from God as well.  Whatever I may have been proud of has been laid down.  I'm no Job, and I'm not complaining, but I'm certain that this season has been a tremendous blessing to my spirit.  I won't forget the lessons I've learned. 

Warning: This golden glorious video has the F word in it a lot.

Ok, so seriously, This song just about epitomizes me as a person.  It is about faithfulness and it is charming and great and strong and manly.  I don't always see eye to eye with Big D and the Kids Table, but with this song I am well pleased. 

Of Course it's called "Not F*cking Around" so I shouldn't be posting it publicly for fear that someone will eat meat sacrificed to idols or something. 

This is a fair warning, this song is coarse and profane and Charming and downright moral.  A bit like me.  Don't start dropping F-bombs if you feel it is sinful.  And don't do it around people who might be encouraged to do it, all the while thinking it is sinful.  Deal?  Ok. 

My Emotions Today

Today I got off work an hour early and began driving home in my 87 Bronco II while listening to ska.  I hung my arm out of the window and breathed in my surroundings, thought appreciatively about the Airmen who live where I get to work, and I reveled a bit in my job, not so much the working part, but the part where it was over for the day. 





I learned from Ecclesiastes that seeking wealth is foolish.  I also learned from proverbs that sitting on your butt is foolish.  So I primarily work for works sake insuring that I will be able to enjoy rest in good conscience.  Secondary is paying the bills.  If you do work, that typically gets taken care of. 

On the way home I felt like Jesus must have felt on the mount of transfiguration.  Except I wasn't gleaming white and talking with Moses and Elijah, I was just getting off work on a Friday afternoon.

On the way home NOFX's Leaving Jesusland came on and that hurt my spirits.  I typically dislike the people who are caricatures of Christianity and don't live it like we are told to, but just wear the Jersey on game day.  I know that songs like this are about that guy.  Doesn't really matter much though, because I know I am going to be thought of as that guy, and in a lot of ways me and that guy are the same.  I don't abandon that guy.  Even if that guy is messing it up for everyone, peeing in everyone's pool, I still care about that guy.  In fact, my primary hope as an elder is to work with that guy.  Then I start wishing I could just talk to Fat Mike about my beliefs and see if he still thought I was worth attacking.  He probably would.  My heart sincerely breaks for junk like that.  And not just because I like NOFX.  I mean, I was listening to Streetlight Manifesto radio on Pandora, and they would have a lot to say about the subject.  They don't strike me as a-holes though.  They are my favorite ska band.

Anyway, at home I recalled the possibly prophetic words of Lamech:   Now he called his name Noah, saying, “This one will give us rest from our work and from the toil of our hands arising from the ground which the Lord has cursed.” Gen 5:29

Now, I know that Noah is famous for the ark and the flood.  And maybe Lamech didn't know what he is talking about.  Maybe the ground was worse before, and after Noah everything has been a bit easier because of some earth change or something.  .  .  .  Honestly, I am at least partially inclined to believe that this is a prophecy about Noah making Krunk juice.  I know, calm down, that's hard to swallow.  And maybe this isn't worth saying out loud, but derned if that theory isn't at least a bit compelling.  Relax, we all still maintain that drunkenness is a sin (Eph 5:18)

Wait, look at this:



That is the worst and best depiction of drunk Noah being covered by two of his sons, I have ever seen.  From the french in the 14th century I think. 

Moving on, so because I wrote my main paper on Bible booze, I feel certain that drink is not a sin if you do not do it to excess.  Drunkenness is like gluttony: Prov 23:20-21 "Do not be with heavy drinkers of wine, Or with gluttonous eaters of meat; For the heavy drinker and the glutton will come to poverty, And drowsiness will clothe one with rags."

Therefore I am perfectly capable in my fire refined conscience to appreciate good things from the Lord's hand, like a fine 1554, by New Belgium Brewing right out of Fort Collins, Colorado.

"Bless the Lord, O my soul!...
...He causes the grass to grow for the cattle,
And vegetation for the labor of man,
So that he may bring forth food from the earth,
And wine which makes man’s heart glad,
So that he may make his face glisten with oil,
And food which sustains man’s heart." Psalm 104:1a, 14-15

So, to sum up, this is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.  It may start to suck in the future, but I am not in the future.  I am in today.  Now I think I am going to play video games.  I just worked a full day, why should anyone object?  Shabbat Shalom here in a little while! 

Shotgun Thought Pattern Update 2

I don't write much here often.  I usually have moments of lucidity while at work or something, and my thoughts seem important enough to write down later, but...  then you sit down and... meh. 

I read an article about Ireland abandoning religion, and in the comments were all manner of scorn and mockery for the believers.  It burdened me, like I've said before, but afterwards I listened to proverbs while I worked.  In the comments the people (I'm guessing dumb teenagers and college kids)  were arguing about their own intellects and posting IQ's and all manner of downright foolish ass-hat-ery.  While listening to proverbs I heard so many words about that exact type of fool.  They were, down to the last bit, as foolish as the worst fool in proverbs.  Right down to being puffed up in their foolishness.  It's not their facts that are foolish, it's their behavior.  Their facts are just firebrands they shoot recklessly from their mouths.  It was a strange encouragement that the Bible had these people so pinned down:  people who would deem themselves the pinnacle of evolution, and so sophisticated, thousands of years after.  I admit it is a primitive book, but an apple is primitive compared to a hot pocket. 

I live in a camper, which is something I've always wanted to do.  I work as an apprentice electrician which makes me lots of money, but feels like a means to an end.  I am terrified of heights and all these rich Americans around here love vaulted ceilings.  I'd love to master it, and get licensed and do it for a living while paid ministry is not an option.  It just seems like a hard task is before me.  The present orders are "go, apply yourself with all your might, see what happens."  I thoroughly love being able to listen to the Bible on audio while I work.  That is how most of my thoughts and meditations occur these days. 

One of my possibly lucid thoughts was about the laws of holiness in the Law of Moses.  I heard Doug Wilson tell a bunch of loudmouth fools (seriously, proverbs talks about them all in detail)  that those laws which are moral remain and holiness laws are nailed to the cross.  (says "book of ordinances"  I think, and that is in Colossians I think).  Now, I don't know about that exactly.  Could be, but my thought was this:

If Christ's death brought salvation to the Foreigners (Gentiles) and tore down the dividing curtain, and made the riff raff and rabble on the streets holy (This stuff is all over the New Testament, seriously, The Gospels, Acts, the Epistles, everywhere) then does it follow that a law which keeps the ancient Israelites holy from other nations (Example:  Leviticus 19:27 prohibits a practice other nations did, Jeremiah 9:26) would be obsolete, inasmuch as now the other nations are made holy?  "What God has made holy do not call common" He says to Peter.  Of course the moral commands remain:  you shall not burn your children to other gods.  And marking your head for the dead is still a no no if you should have nothing to do with the dead.  But how about mixing fabric in a coat, or mixing seed in a field?  If the law was to separate Israel from other nations, then it would not remain if Christ tore the veil between Israel and the nations. 

Anyway,  I don't have command over the scripture enough to follow through and check this kind of thought.  At present it seems conceivable that the only laws which changed were those which Christ's action on the cross directly influenced.  Sacrifices and Holiness codes.  In any case, as a gentile I don't have to fret too much.  It must be tough for Messianic Jews though.

Tattoo idea

Here is my idea for a tattoo on my back.  It is called the Fractio Panis, it's a love feast or the eucherist.

First I need either muscly arms, or less midsection fat.  To get a tattoo, I must be proportional.  That is my tattoo rule.

Doubts

There is a famous line by a man in the Gospels. 

“I do believe; help my unbelief!” Mark 9:24

It made me think of something I do in my own life.

I like to look through the internet, and I like to see how my Christian facebook friends are interacting with their nonbelieving friends.  At this point in my life, I have never found an argument of any type that has had an effect on my faith.  I could answer anything I find, any argument going on between friends, and every attack on my faith.  I'm not sure I could convince anyone to adopt my views, but my views are solid enough that they can't take them down.  So, I read these things, and even though they have no convincing power over someone who knows the deal (wink), they have a very strange spiritual power.  The most effective attacks seem to be the ones which are nothing but juvenile mocking.  When they are not intellectually effective, they are spiritually effective.  I read all these, and I get really troubled and beat up, and downcast.  Silly things.  Things which are obviously trash.  "The words of the reckless pierce like swords..." Proverbs 12:18  "...a perverse tongue crushes the spirit." Proverbs 15:4

This masochistic habit leads me to two thoughts: 

One is that I knew when I signed up that the unbelieving world would hate me:

 "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.  If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you." (Jesus) John 15:19
 "Do not be surprised, my brothers and sisters, if the world hates you." 1 John 3:13

and that the world thinks my faith is foolishness:

"...but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles." 1 Corinthians 1:23

We have examples to follow who experienced the worst of it:

"When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it; when we are slandered, we answer kindly. We have become the scum of the earth, the garbage of the world—right up to this moment."  1 Corinthians 4:12

Two is that though I don't abandon reason, my faith is not really resting on intellectual arguments.

When I experience that type of harsh juvenile attack and it has a real effect on me, I wonder how other Christians deal with it.  It seems these days, a lot of them abandon the faith.

                      I know that it is possible to find an answer to any intellectual attack.
                      No one gives up their faith on the basis of  clear evidence, only by tactics of persuasion

It is the spiritual attacks.  It is the mockery and shame.  People give up the faith because they can't stand to be ridiculed and scorned and hated.  They want to be loved by the people of the world.  But that is why it is so important to be dead to the world.   

"You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God." James 4:4

So when trouble comes, and I am weak in the face of tongues like stabbing swords, which crush the spirit, how should I proceed when doubt and fear shows up?

One thing I do, which I find in that famous line “I do believe; help my unbelief!” is I talk to God about it.  I tell Him, I tell the Spirit about my doubts.  My faith is not riding on intellectual grounds, because it rests on a real relationship through the Holy Spirit. There is substance here, and when you see the wretched hated homeless ragged overworked Apostle, with light in his eyes and fire on his tongue, you know there is something supernatural going on there.  The faith works like a treasure found in a field, where you sell all you have, everything you value (even the opinions of your friends and your good reputation) to acquire it.  This treasure is all we'll have left.  And it's worth it. 

So I wonder how many apostates brought their waning faith before God?  I know it sounds logically silly, but when you see them, you can't argue with results. 

There is a promise that I love and treasure, that might go unheeded, because it sounds like a platitude for a refrigerator magnet.  “So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you." (Jesus) Luke 11:9

I've always said that this verse would be the guiding beacon of all my future preaching.  I think that holds true still.  I've bet everything on promises like these.  I've given up the whole world to be scorned and abused for promises like this, and I know I've got more hate and scorn to go yet.  I've not been disappointed.  I'm not left empty handed.

When we have been stripped of everything but our faith in Jesus Christ, we will finally get it.  If we would rather maintain appearances with the world, and so abandon this faith which makes us look foolish, we are doomed.  This is a fair warning. 

Hell

Oh Hell! 

In the history of Israel, God commands the people when it comes time for Joshua to invade:
Wipe out these seven nations, or they will lead you astray into their corruption! 

Hell if they didn't do it.  Hell if they weren't led right into that corruption time and time again. 

It's my opinion that God is scary.  When it's revealed to someone how HOLY He is, they are usually terrified and deeply introspective.  Shame and fear bubbles up.  No one stands their ground at His rebuke.  The fear of the Lord is not the same as saluting your Dad.  From the get, we don't have a relationship like that with Him anyway.  I'd have no reservations describing it is straight up terror.  He is a Holy, Righteous, Severe God.  All we are is squirming worms of shame trying to hide the fact that we are masturbating under our covers at night.

      So the terrifying God who holds all life in his hands for his good pleasure commands Israel to wipe out seven nations He deems too corrupt to continue.  While death is the ultimate evil and absurdity to us, it is really just the end of every man throughout history, and God holds every man in his hand, declaring when it's time to go.  But why wipe out these nations?  Even though it would be in God's hands to decide their length of days, why the judgment, why Israel? 

In the Law of Moses, one of the phrases that pops up a few times among death penalties is "remove the evil from among you."  There is a type of evil that Jesus describes as leaven.  It grows and infects.  It's not much of a coincidence that there is so much about leprosy and mold in the Law, they are in the same category as these sins which require death or exclusion.  Eventually we will see the Lord describe his people Isreal as a cultivated branch to produce fine grapes.  Apply that metaphor to a nation.  How horrid it must be for a plant to utterly lose branches and leaves, snipped off arbitrarily it seems.  And it is horrible.  When people are condemned to death by the Law, there is sometimes a warning "don't have mercy on them."  Of course we want to! 

But the horror may have a purpose;  In Deuteronomy 13:11 after a command to stone a transgressor we read "And all Israel shall hear and fear and never again do any such wickedness as this among you." It's really sort of pragmatic. 

So I think Israel might have been commanded to do it, to fear.

For a long time the corruption of these nations was overlooked, and the people were given opportunity to change their ways for hundreds of years.  God mentions their corruption to Abraham, long before Joshua, but tells Abraham that their corruption has not become fully ripe yet. He waits for them to repent of their wickedness!

While it is wise enough to fear God for his Justice, more shockingly strong is his severe sense of compassion and his patience! Read the story of king Ahab's repentance!  Read of Jonah's indignation! 

The corruption of these people culminated in the ritualistic sacrifice of Children (not to mention all the other abominations Israel liked to imitate).  The thought of burning children alive is horrendous, to us and to God.  While you cannot blame the children for their parents (a thing God has commanded should not be done) it is something else when the children grow up to be worse sons of hell than their parents.  That over the course of a few generations these nations actually got WORSE. 

But the history is what it is, and the nations survived. 

In the monarchical history of Israel, these nations can get pretty chummy with the chosen people.  King after king after foolish king will even adopt the very same rituals which were supposed to bring about the destruction of those nations.  One of the kings burns his own son!  And God does indeed send someone with the same punishment in hand!  God raises Babylon to decimate Israel!  Just like Israel was to decimate the 7 nations!

What absolutely blows the mind is the story of when Jesus fed the gentile crowds in the gospels.  When he fed the jewish crowds there were 12 baskets left.  Just like the number of tribes.  When he fed the Gentile crowds, there are seven baskets left.  These are the descendents of the seven nations.  That scandal of Gentile inclusion is one of the biggest topics in the NT.

Talk about mercy, I can just hear Jonah's indignation!

In any case, the place known as Topheth is the spot where the child sacrifices were done, and it was in the valley of Ben-Hinnom, later known as Gehenna or (Oh hell!) HELL.  You see, Ge (gay) is greek for land, henna is hinnom put through greek.  Topheth is the word for fire pit, only the vowels were changed by the Masoretes into the vowels for the word shame.  This was a practice to worship the pagan god Molech, a practice the Israelites adopted from the corrupting influence of one of the nations. Here is the first picture and understanding of that fiery hell (gehenna) Jesus will mention time and time again! 


Isaiah 30:33 
"Topheth has long been prepared; it has been made ready for the king. Its fire pit has been made deep and wide, with an abundance of fire and wood; the breath of the LORD, like a stream of burning sulfur, sets it ablaze."

Jeremiah 7:31-32
"They have built the high places of Topheth in the Valley of Ben Hinnom to burn their sons and daughters in the fire—something I did not command, nor did it enter my mind.  So beware, the days are coming, declares the LORD, when people will no longer call it Topheth or the Valley of Ben Hinnom, but the Valley of Slaughter, for they will bury the dead in Topheth until there is no more room.

You want to talk about a fire pit full of the dead? 

Here is what blew my mind recently:  In Jeremiah 31 we see a prediction of the times to come, it it's quoted in the NT.

"This is the covenant I will make with the people of Israel
   after that time,” declares the LORD. I will put my law in their minds
   and write it on their hearts.
I will be their God,
   and they will be my people."

We are talking about a future event.  What follows is this:

"'The days are coming,' declares the LORD, 'when this city will be rebuilt for me from the Tower of Hananel to the Corner Gate.  The measuring line will stretch from there straight to the hill of Gareb and then turn to Goah.  The whole valley where dead bodies and ashes are thrown, and all the terraces out to the Kidron Valley on the east as far as the corner of the Horse Gate, will be holy to the LORD. The city will never again be uprooted or demolished.'”
If this isn't just a prediction of the return from exile, (the later destruction of Jerusalem in a.d. 70 makes me think it can't be) Then we may be looking at a New Jerusalem type of thing.  The food for thought is this: Is Gehenna renewed in the final restoration? 

But there are so many more things to say, and so much more scripture to know!  I wouldn't bet a shekel of dirt on my rantings and ravings!  I've got a lot to learn!

Shotgun Thought Pattern Update 1

I'm revisiting the Old Testament because I read in Hebrews that we ought to know the "elementary principles of the oracles of God" and I read in Romans that the "Oracles of God" refers to the prophets of Israel.  It only recently clicked that a ton of the Bible is about a solid little couple-hundred-year chunk of the history of Israel (and Judah).  These prophets know each other. 

Now, I've been a Christian since I was born, (upon you, O Lord I was cast since birth) but sometimes this stuff I've heard all my life just suddenly hits me in the mouth like a stick at an unjust trial, and the words of the prophets and the words of the Lord echo in my mind "ears to hear, never hearing." 

It is like I have to sneeze, so I rear back and huff and huff, my nose tickles with expectancy, and then I just sit that way for 5 years.  I am so used to needing to sneeze, that I don't even remember what it feels like to be free of the sneeze, whether before or after.  Then WHAAAchoo, all this stored up phlegm gets knocked loose.  "OH YEAH!" I exclaim, "That's what it feels like!" 

Anyway, I am having a lot of fun learning about King Asa and his foot disease, which he didn't seek the Lord about.  Good guy though.  I'm enjoying Psalms 10 and 34 tonight.  Me and the wife are going to study Isaiah together.  Once I feel like I have swept back through the old books, and I have some elementary principles down, I am going to come at the gospels, acts, and epistles.  Hopefully with the same mindset those Jewish Bible nerds had when they wrote the things. (Inspired by the same Spirit who inspired the Hebrew Bible).