Posts from around 2007 that don't embarrass me #3

I used to be an astronaut!

I clung to the controls,
flying past the stars.
colors blurred together,
I used visit mars.

I met myself a monkey,
touched down by an antennae.
He seemed to be upset,
until I gave him a banana.

I dropped him off at earth,
we didn’t see eye to eye.
he didn’t have a soul,
and he made the place a stye.

My mind grew overwhelmed,
It went out of control.
I began to lose perspective,
isolation took it’s toll.

I took the stars for granted,
I scoffed at all creation.
I stopped searching for knowledge,
I docked at a space station.

I sat down at a bar,
I smoked some cigarettes.
I was bitter about everything,
I started making up regrets.

I listened to this band,
they wore make-up and dyed hair.
They sang about their sorrow,
About how life just wasn’t fair.

I was mad at myself,
for acting just the same.
These kids are doing just fine,
They’re faking and it’s lame.

I got up off my chair,
I tried to think up answers.
maybe I should find a girl,
amongst the trendy dancers.

She could save me from some things,
the boring life I lead.
maybe she could meet,
These lame emotional needs.

I tripped over my stool,
I fell flat on my face.
I dreamt in Japanese,
And awoke in a strange place.

On a stretcher in the medbay,
I cough and choke and laugh.
Where did I go wrong?
I smile at the medical staff.

blood runs down my face,
I must have broken my nose.
I dab it on my fingers,
I smile and wiggle my toes.

I begin to draw a picture,
of stars and suns and moons.
they dance in halogen light,
my astronaut cartoons.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I used to be an astronaut,
I used to travel a lot.
I don’t really ever miss it,
I wouldn’t mind if I forgot.

I’m sure someone else wants it,
I would bless you on your mission.
All I ever earned
was a bitter disposition.

Now I’m sleeping in a house,
light shines through in the morning.
I work in fields and sing songs,
I offer children this one warning-

It’s not as simple as being yourself,
or following your own dreams.
Someone may have played you,
They bred in you those schemes.

You’ll find what you want,
Is not at all what you thought.
you’ll follow all their dreams,
you’ll be everything they’ve taught.

You’ll find pleasure in the sky,
yet, it will not last long.
You’ll feel the desperation,
You’ll feel you don’t belong.

I was there once I know,
my heart was filled with taint.
It took me breaking my nose,
and playing with fingerpaint-

to finally realize,
I used to love my life.
I think I just wanted love,
maybe a child and a wife.

who knows?