Assassin's Creed Thoughts

I am a fierce Christian.  Meaning I am attractive, way too intelligent, very capable, able to open beer with my eye sockets, carry a small family on my back, and able to reload a combat shotgun with 8 in the magazine and one in the chamber in less then 2 seconds.  The list goes on.  Well, wait, I am getting off track.  What I mean is, I am a Christian of the variety that would die before giving up my faith.  I would hold onto my faith despite shame from every individual in the world, and die shamed hated and faithful.  If by some weakness I could not uphold these words, I at least now work and fight to be such a man.  Because my bottom and central identity is that of a Christian, a biblical one, fully aware of every horror in the Bible, and fully aware of the glory of the Character of God,  I must always judge everything that comes my way from that perspective.  I love stories and that love manifests itself as a love of books, movies, and these days, video games. 

In any case, today I may have a job, so to celebrate the fact that I have leisure time again, instead of just worthless unemployed limbo, I am playing Assassin's Creed 3.  During the first game they established that Moses and Jesus were liars who only used the alien technology called the pieces of Eden to manipulate large crowds.  This was a huge bummer for me as I am at the bottom of it all a sincere Christian, and also a lover of good narrative, and this series has some excellent historical tie-ins.  I love to invest in characters, and consider what they are going through.  I love to do my best to dive into the narrative.  For this game I have to sort of "suspend my belief" to get into the narrative.

So here I am so many games in, and the sole drive of the characters is to save the world.  From a sun flare.  It's getting a little tough to enjoy.

I see that there are ancient humans with a higher existence, which ancient cultures based their religions on.  Cool.  I once found that the whole drama between the Templars and Assassins was cool.  However, after the first few hours as Haythem Kenwhatever, the big twist comes (spoiler) where it turns out he is a Templar and not an Assassin.  So I've got this time spent as a Templar, which was largely the exact same as what it's like to be an Assassin.  The only difference is one seeks order and control, and the other seeks to mess up the order and control.  Big freakin whoop!  I have a very hard time understanding why our culture can feel like they are the good guys in this game, instead of just one of the types of guys there is.  I am not dumb enough to just jump behind anarchy for the hell of it.  Why fight for anything but what is right?  or what is good? but we have established that there is no "good" and so I am forced to march on to relativist garbage, feeling no real motivation to do anything I am compelled by the game designer to do.  The Assassin's say themselves in the Assassin's Creed that "nothing is true and everything is permissible."  If I suspend my belief in God for the sake of immersing myself in a narrative, the first thing that I think is "if the protagonist follows the creed, who gives a grand crap what the templars do?" Nothing matters at all. 

This ruins the story.  Why am I killing people?  Why is it an Assassin's job to save the world?  Don't the Templars want to save the world too if just for themselves?  And ultimately, why save the world?  I don't give a bag of butts what happens to a godless world.  This place is a cesspit.  If there is no redemption or sanctification in the universe, then it would be best if all the filth and horror and all the illusory beauty and bullcrap ethics were just put out of their no-god-forsaken misery. What is the ultimate goal of the game?  To ensure that the horrors of existence persist longer.  How awful!  With no hope, what is the point of fighting for more pain and sorrow and horror?  If there is no value in what is good, and no point in what is beautiful (beyond the useless need to perpetuate your own worthless DNA), then what is the point?  How awful to go on chasing beauty or pleasure like a drug, always reeling afterwards from withdrawel, needing more and more each time to feel ok?  Dying old, miserable, weak, and with ultimately no real meaning and no real affect on the bullcrap existence you suffered through?

So, allowing myself to go along with the narrative, I am compelled to root for Brother Sun.  

Burn this suck world out of its misery. 

I haven't finished it yet, but something tells me the natural desire of the writer will not be to die in a fireball, and they will probably go for the whole "survive the apocalypse" trope. 

Update:  I have finished it, and I am sincerely bummed out to find that even if the sun destroys the world, suck will go on.  The ultimately negative portrayel of my faith reborn through Desmond was a bit agitating (though I am an open minded individual, I am also a closed hearted individual, so I try to go along with it for narative.) It seems the the writers are communicating a belief about Christianity in the alternative future vision.  The belief would be that Jesus was just such a man, who taught good things, which were twisted and He was unknowingly deified by his followers.  This reflects many beliefs, and certainly the entire liberal half of Biblical scholarship, but us believers have our reasons to believe otherwise, and it is always a bummer to see these ideas perpetuated in media to the masses I am to take the gospel to.  Although, it's fine, I don't mind too much, if the Holy Spirit does not move on you, you may not have any reason to really believe Jesus was and said He was, God.  I did find that the portrayel of the "good teaching" which became used for evil was also a reflection of how they see historical Christianity.  I am ok with this.  I still enjoy how even the fiercest haters of my faith can be impressed with the teachings of Jesus.  I honor the tendency of men to do this as a good thing.  

The naval battles were way cool, the homesteading missions were a delight, though TOTALLY out of place. "Hello, oh you want to date this huntress? I will help you get her a gift... hold on while I kill tons of men and woman for a poorly defined cause I have no reason to feel passion for. Ok I am back, give her away at the wedding? absolutely!"

I did not hate Desmond, and it is a bit of a bummer to see him go.  I hope he lives on some transcendent way.  All in all, worth my time, and a very useful way to keep at least the basement dwelling culture talking about history, origins and faith, albeit in a very skeptical, history doubting/hating and weasel faced sort of way. 

Final Note:  I would love to dink around in an Animus for years.  It would replace every other way I spend time.  I realize most if not all of my ancestors would be totally boring, but think of all the awesome stuff you could learn about history, and how many awesome trades would you learn?  Maybe I could come out an artist, able to actually write, a fine preacher, a sailor, a commander of troops, or maybe I could get experience as a king, experience with a sword, knowledge of how to be a cooper, how to breed horses, who knows.  How interesting to be a good father, or a child abandoned, a war deserter, a hero, just some regular farmer.  It'd be amazing to hear news of events I learned about through history.   No matter what your pedigree, you could come out with excessive lifetimes of valuable experience, and plenty of valuable knowledge.  You would be a different person altogether, with a soul ancient and wise far far far beyond your years.

Shotgun Pattern 4

I am beyond the point of return for my temporary lay off.  I don't think I'm going back.  I hate not working, so I have been looking for a job here and there, but I guess now it's time to begin in earnest.  I know for a fact I am not in this position for no reason.  The question would be, what is the reason?  Am I here because there is something special in store for me, some job not available yet?  Am I here to reorient my life, set new goals that God wants me focused on?  Am I just being disciplined for some deep hidden sin?  I know God has used "cleanness of teeth" as a way to discipline His people awake (Amos 4) to return to His righteousness, and I call myself part of his people since the sheet vision and the conversion of Cornelius (Acts 10).  I sincerely would not be displeased to find that there was some continuing sin in our lives that needed our attention.  After all, Jesus promises that if we seek the Kingdom and seek God's righteousness, all the necessities of life would be added to us.  He knows that I know this.  Could the danger of poverty awaken me to the fact that i am not seeking his righteousness?  The pain of struggling would do that, but as difficult as this time has been, it has still been true that we are well cared for by His providence.  I'm not saying he starves us at all, only that God is fully aware that I already equate livelihood with righteousness.  If He chose to send a message that way, He knows I would get it.  Because I know I would get it, and He knows what I know. 

There are more things to consider.  For example, since being laid off I have been blessed to get more involved at church.  This creates a real problem for me.  While I someday hope to be a minister in the right capacity, something about going to ministry because I am unemployed feels weak.  I guess I always thought I should overcome work, and become a minister in strength, not because I got laid off.  But if God wanted me to reorient my life, this could be a way of sending a message.  I do feel like I was not involved in the work of the kingdom while simply working as an electrician.  Since such a life bore no fruit, maybe I lost it, to be disciplined and reoriented.  STILL, it feels like a crap move to try to hop into ministry since I apparently can't hack it in the real world.  That's not what happened, I was just layed off due to lack of work, but it still feels like it. 

I could easily imagine something more grand coming out of this.  My son's name is Benaiah, meaing YHWH builds up, or the Lord builds up.  I named him that because I thought it was a strong fitting name, but part of it was that he was a total surprise.  How OT is it to name your child after circumstances surrounding his birth, amiright?  Me and Rachel had planned on living in a Motor home, sacrificing comfort and space, in order to produce more money then we spend to survive.  I made a lot while an electrician living here.  If that could have continued, I'd be doing great.  I got laid off, and then two days later I had a son on the way.  God made that happen.  Not in a miraculous way, we did the work, but the timing was not our timing.  Now we have a whole different life to plan for, and things have just been crazy.  I've gotten to do jobs for people, I did some home improvement work for a few friends, and I got to spend time with my nephew, all of which felt timely and took care of money issues, and encouraged my soul.  So it could be that I am just waiting for some grand thing to happen.  All of this is planned for glory, not destruction.  I don't know. 

I don't think I have begun behaving too differently since moving here, so I've got kinda this Jobish "what the heck?" deal here.  I'm still a sinner, don't get me wrong, but I live a posture of repentance, there is nothing left unrepented at the moment.  I trust in Grace, and follow Christ the best I can, even if at times it is a crawl.

I got the opportunity to teach the Book of Ruth to middle school kids.  Until volunteering I had no experience with them.  There was the time I WAS one, and there is the way I glare at them as they swagger home from school cussing and littering.  I hope it is not too dull when I explain the laws surrounding redemption of the land, (Lev 25:23) the welfare for poor and foreign (Lev 19:9-10) or the kinsman redeemer law (Deut 25:5-10) being the center of Ruth's drama.

It's tough to describe a love story which is so great when understood in its own terms, but so far from us in our modern culture.  And never mind that I'll be talking to middle school kids about something their parents have probably never heard. 

I guess I need to get on some activities or illustrations to keep them edu-tained. 

Samson: My Pet Peeves

I have grown up in the church, and that has meant a lot of different types of churches.  Sunday school lessons have ranged from high tech presentations to flannel graphs and coloring books. 

I believe strongly that Samson has never gotten a fair portrayal. 

Poor Samson is always presented as a muscly doofus who is not able to comprehend that Delilah is trying to screw him over.  I read the text, and I'd like to think I feel it.

First of all, I don't think he was muscly or the Holy Spirit being his power wouldn't be such a big deal.  God usually expresses his power through weakness, so people will know it was Him.

More importantly, I don't think he is stupid at all, I just think he is a total mess.  Samson's story should always be seen as a story about massive trouble with the ladies, and the power of a woman's nagging.  

I think I feel it because as a fool with women, I have acted just as stupidly against my own upbringing and convictions as Samson has.  Plus, dudes wife betrayed him, was given to his "best man", then got burned, that'll mess you up.  Furthermore, at the marrying age, emotions can be tricky.  Ask all the youths out there who are being incredibly stupid about their boy or girl.  Survey how many of them believe that their squeeze is bad for them.  How many of those surveyed continue to act stupidly and march on into their self-destructive relationship?  Knowing Better isn't enough, and all of us troubled idiot kids listening to lovesick music and writing poetry all over our backpacks have been there. 

Now, is Samson a high school kid?  Probably not.  He begins looking for a wife but once the violence starts it says he judged Israel for 20 years.  It says this after his jawbone slaughter and repeats it after his death.  I imagine that was the length of time he was killing Philistines.  Whatever age he was, I feel like I know Samson, and though what I describe may still sound like stupidity, it is not brainless doofiness.  It's my kind of stupidity.  My problem is he is portrayed as an oblivious brainless meat head.

About his "stupidity" first of all consider that Samson is NOT telling Delilah his secrets.  He is making crap up, because he knows what she wants, but he's trying not to give in.  Read this:
"It came about when she pressed him daily with her words and urged him, that his soul was annoyed to death."  Judges 16:16
That's not a dummy letting slip a detail, that is a wreck of a man giving up in what he KNOWS is a self-destructive relationship.  I imagine she was hot and cuddly, and as a weak bastard he felt sick about it. I feel like some of us can relate to that better than we admit.

A N Y W A Y S

The unimportant pet peeve is that his hair is NEVER right.  I hope it is right somewhere and I just haven't seen it yet, but in my life no one has ever done even a half decent job portraying his hair. 

"Then the angel of the Lord appeared to the woman and said to her, 'Behold now, you are barren and have borne no children, but you shall conceive and give birth to a son.  Now therefore, be careful not to drink wine or strong drink, nor eat any unclean thing.  For behold, you shall conceive and give birth to a son, and no razor shall come upon his head, for the boy shall be a Nazirite to God from the womb; and he shall begin to deliver Israel from the hands of the Philistines.'" Judges 13:3-5


Here is the problem. 

Here is a boy who has never cut his hair.  He is 5.
 

 

To this day, among famous artists and ancient depictions alike I have never seen a Samson with hair longer than this.  Now imagine you decided Samson is around 20.  Remember, Samson had 7 locks. 

"She made him sleep on her knees, and called for a man and had him shave off the seven locks of his hair. Then she began to afflict him, and his strength left him."  Judges 16:19

If that means braids or whatever, fine, but simply imagine your idea of a marrying aged man (then maybe add 20 years to that) whose hair is made of 7 locks with this guy who has 20 year old dreadlocks.   

If your idea of Samson is not at least as grizzly as this guy, I think you aren't picturing him right. 


I leave you with this beer:

Shotgun Thought Pattern Update 3

It DID start to suck in the future (sort of).  I got laid off (temporarily I hear) so for a little while now I have been out of work.  And not just, "better find a job" out of work, but actually just stuck at home waiting to go back to my job.  I went out for some jobs that are better than mine, but otherwise because we are able to make it on unemployment, It's been wiser to wait for my good job to come back. 

This is weird.  I have no money, but I'm not really being worthless.  It's a humbling time in my life.  Not only because I have nothing to boast about in myself, but also because it is clear that God has done this for a reason.  We have more peace and joy on a day to day basis then we should.  The time we've spent with the family is more meaningful than it has been.  Unexplainable joy.  There is substance to our lives in this period of weakness that doesn't fit.  It sounds like something right out of an epistle.  We are very thankful. 

And the most uncanny part of it is how we found out we were going to have a child the very day after I got laid off.  This was not planned, nor were we very careless.  It was obviously... (maybe not obvious to everyone, but the kind of thing where my inner man knows and laughs) ...a message.  God is our livelihood.  He gives the job, He takes away.  He opens the womb, He closes it.

I've also been given the opportunity to watch my Nephew Aaron as a kind of man nanny, and that has been a blessing.  It's very fun to hang out with him, and between all the messes and fits it feels like great practice.  I get to spend the days contributing which is good for my soul, and I get to be blessed in the process.  

We've signed up for some government help, which feels weird.  I certainly don't care to rely on it, but I do appreciate how the government has methods of helping people out.  My political view isn't important here.  What has been meaningful is the new world I've encountered.  Being humbled to the point of needing to rely on government assistance (which once was anathema to you) is a certain way to tear down your own exalted image of yourself.  I feel more compassion for the lowly, my people, who need help.  I don't think that the current system is the best way to help, but again, that's beside the point.  I know this is from God as well.  Whatever I may have been proud of has been laid down.  I'm no Job, and I'm not complaining, but I'm certain that this season has been a tremendous blessing to my spirit.  I won't forget the lessons I've learned. 

Warning: This golden glorious video has the F word in it a lot.

Ok, so seriously, This song just about epitomizes me as a person.  It is about faithfulness and it is charming and great and strong and manly.  I don't always see eye to eye with Big D and the Kids Table, but with this song I am well pleased. 

Of Course it's called "Not F*cking Around" so I shouldn't be posting it publicly for fear that someone will eat meat sacrificed to idols or something. 

This is a fair warning, this song is coarse and profane and Charming and downright moral.  A bit like me.  Don't start dropping F-bombs if you feel it is sinful.  And don't do it around people who might be encouraged to do it, all the while thinking it is sinful.  Deal?  Ok. 

My Emotions Today

Today I got off work an hour early and began driving home in my 87 Bronco II while listening to ska.  I hung my arm out of the window and breathed in my surroundings, thought appreciatively about the Airmen who live where I get to work, and I reveled a bit in my job, not so much the working part, but the part where it was over for the day. 





I learned from Ecclesiastes that seeking wealth is foolish.  I also learned from proverbs that sitting on your butt is foolish.  So I primarily work for works sake insuring that I will be able to enjoy rest in good conscience.  Secondary is paying the bills.  If you do work, that typically gets taken care of. 

On the way home I felt like Jesus must have felt on the mount of transfiguration.  Except I wasn't gleaming white and talking with Moses and Elijah, I was just getting off work on a Friday afternoon.

On the way home NOFX's Leaving Jesusland came on and that hurt my spirits.  I typically dislike the people who are caricatures of Christianity and don't live it like we are told to, but just wear the Jersey on game day.  I know that songs like this are about that guy.  Doesn't really matter much though, because I know I am going to be thought of as that guy, and in a lot of ways me and that guy are the same.  I don't abandon that guy.  Even if that guy is messing it up for everyone, peeing in everyone's pool, I still care about that guy.  In fact, my primary hope as an elder is to work with that guy.  Then I start wishing I could just talk to Fat Mike about my beliefs and see if he still thought I was worth attacking.  He probably would.  My heart sincerely breaks for junk like that.  And not just because I like NOFX.  I mean, I was listening to Streetlight Manifesto radio on Pandora, and they would have a lot to say about the subject.  They don't strike me as a-holes though.  They are my favorite ska band.

Anyway, at home I recalled the possibly prophetic words of Lamech:   Now he called his name Noah, saying, “This one will give us rest from our work and from the toil of our hands arising from the ground which the Lord has cursed.” Gen 5:29

Now, I know that Noah is famous for the ark and the flood.  And maybe Lamech didn't know what he is talking about.  Maybe the ground was worse before, and after Noah everything has been a bit easier because of some earth change or something.  .  .  .  Honestly, I am at least partially inclined to believe that this is a prophecy about Noah making Krunk juice.  I know, calm down, that's hard to swallow.  And maybe this isn't worth saying out loud, but derned if that theory isn't at least a bit compelling.  Relax, we all still maintain that drunkenness is a sin (Eph 5:18)

Wait, look at this:



That is the worst and best depiction of drunk Noah being covered by two of his sons, I have ever seen.  From the french in the 14th century I think. 

Moving on, so because I wrote my main paper on Bible booze, I feel certain that drink is not a sin if you do not do it to excess.  Drunkenness is like gluttony: Prov 23:20-21 "Do not be with heavy drinkers of wine, Or with gluttonous eaters of meat; For the heavy drinker and the glutton will come to poverty, And drowsiness will clothe one with rags."

Therefore I am perfectly capable in my fire refined conscience to appreciate good things from the Lord's hand, like a fine 1554, by New Belgium Brewing right out of Fort Collins, Colorado.

"Bless the Lord, O my soul!...
...He causes the grass to grow for the cattle,
And vegetation for the labor of man,
So that he may bring forth food from the earth,
And wine which makes man’s heart glad,
So that he may make his face glisten with oil,
And food which sustains man’s heart." Psalm 104:1a, 14-15

So, to sum up, this is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.  It may start to suck in the future, but I am not in the future.  I am in today.  Now I think I am going to play video games.  I just worked a full day, why should anyone object?  Shabbat Shalom here in a little while! 

Shotgun Thought Pattern Update 2

I don't write much here often.  I usually have moments of lucidity while at work or something, and my thoughts seem important enough to write down later, but...  then you sit down and... meh. 

I read an article about Ireland abandoning religion, and in the comments were all manner of scorn and mockery for the believers.  It burdened me, like I've said before, but afterwards I listened to proverbs while I worked.  In the comments the people (I'm guessing dumb teenagers and college kids)  were arguing about their own intellects and posting IQ's and all manner of downright foolish ass-hat-ery.  While listening to proverbs I heard so many words about that exact type of fool.  They were, down to the last bit, as foolish as the worst fool in proverbs.  Right down to being puffed up in their foolishness.  It's not their facts that are foolish, it's their behavior.  Their facts are just firebrands they shoot recklessly from their mouths.  It was a strange encouragement that the Bible had these people so pinned down:  people who would deem themselves the pinnacle of evolution, and so sophisticated, thousands of years after.  I admit it is a primitive book, but an apple is primitive compared to a hot pocket. 

I live in a camper, which is something I've always wanted to do.  I work as an apprentice electrician which makes me lots of money, but feels like a means to an end.  I am terrified of heights and all these rich Americans around here love vaulted ceilings.  I'd love to master it, and get licensed and do it for a living while paid ministry is not an option.  It just seems like a hard task is before me.  The present orders are "go, apply yourself with all your might, see what happens."  I thoroughly love being able to listen to the Bible on audio while I work.  That is how most of my thoughts and meditations occur these days. 

One of my possibly lucid thoughts was about the laws of holiness in the Law of Moses.  I heard Doug Wilson tell a bunch of loudmouth fools (seriously, proverbs talks about them all in detail)  that those laws which are moral remain and holiness laws are nailed to the cross.  (says "book of ordinances"  I think, and that is in Colossians I think).  Now, I don't know about that exactly.  Could be, but my thought was this:

If Christ's death brought salvation to the Foreigners (Gentiles) and tore down the dividing curtain, and made the riff raff and rabble on the streets holy (This stuff is all over the New Testament, seriously, The Gospels, Acts, the Epistles, everywhere) then does it follow that a law which keeps the ancient Israelites holy from other nations (Example:  Leviticus 19:27 prohibits a practice other nations did, Jeremiah 9:26) would be obsolete, inasmuch as now the other nations are made holy?  "What God has made holy do not call common" He says to Peter.  Of course the moral commands remain:  you shall not burn your children to other gods.  And marking your head for the dead is still a no no if you should have nothing to do with the dead.  But how about mixing fabric in a coat, or mixing seed in a field?  If the law was to separate Israel from other nations, then it would not remain if Christ tore the veil between Israel and the nations. 

Anyway,  I don't have command over the scripture enough to follow through and check this kind of thought.  At present it seems conceivable that the only laws which changed were those which Christ's action on the cross directly influenced.  Sacrifices and Holiness codes.  In any case, as a gentile I don't have to fret too much.  It must be tough for Messianic Jews though.