The Gospel according to St. Mario

Imagine there is this video game.  This video game is so advanced, that the creator has actually managed to create sentient working minds in the characters inhabiting the game.  They are coded and programmed to have a working, although virtual mind, designed after the human brain.  Now imagine, Mario is the star of our game, and Mario is beginning to have some rather deep thoughts.

To begin with, Mario is aware of the fact that he exists.  He lives in a complicated ordered world.  There are physics which keep him grounded, and which help him stomp Goombas.  He can predict how these physics work by studying them and by knowing that each time he has jumped, for example, he has come back down.  Mario is a curious mind and he begins to study more and more of the natural world he has found himself in.  There is a fixed color scheme.  No other colors seem to exist.  Each object is actually made of tiny objects, and after a great discovery, it seems each tiny object is the product of an underlying code which decides it's colors, shapes, and properties.  The world is a strange and interesting place.  Mario's scientific inquiry shows him that nothing is as it seems at first glance. 




Mario goes along in his world, fighting some Koopa Troopers, wearing Tanooki suits, and avoiding falls to his death.  Along the way, Mario glitches and falls through a floor, and falls endlessly.  He sees that nothing of meaning exists below the floor.  It seems that outside of his meaningful environment, which has a place for him, and a purpose for him, he has found endless nothing.  Upon dying as a programmed fail safe for endless falling, Mario reappears in Mushroom Kingdom with one less life, but what he saw makes him very pensive.  There is nothing beyond his world. 

But what of his world?  Why is it here?  What does it mean?  The only natural inclination Mario seems to have is to move to the right.  To what purpose?  What will he find?  Endless Goombas mock him, long ago deciding they will move left instead. 

This is Mario's life.  This is all he is and all he has.  He cannot know more.  His senses exist as parts of the world he inhabits.  His inquiry into the nature of his world has benefits, but ultimately he can only know what his tools can show him, and all his tools are encoded products of his world as well.  Mario has a sinking feeling that there is a purpose to his life, and he feels like there must be someone somewhere who brought it all into existence, but he can't be sure.  Luigi does not worry about such things, and while Mario cannot provide evidence for his belief, walking through the land he notices that there is always another platform.  He has never been stuck.  There is always a way for him to go to the right, and he believes that this is on purpose.  Mario timidly believes that there is a creator, and that his world has a meaningful purpose.  Where is this creator?  Why doesn't he reveal himself to Mario? 

In our world, at the same time, Mario's creator Shigeru Miyamoto watches Mario and feels incredibly proud of his creation.  He sees Mario growing and learning, and watches him become more and more.  Miyamoto wishes desperately to tell his masterpiece how proud of him he is.  He wishes to tell those in the Mushroom Kingdom that they have a purpose, and a designer who feels very deeply for them.  The question is, how can he do this?

Mario ponders a strange anomaly found in an ancient cave.

Miyamoto is not capable of communicating to his creation normally, because he lives in a totally different and far more complicated world.  Mario's ears are not programmed to hear Miyamoto's voice.  Nor could they be.  Miyamoto must resort to other methods.  He resolves to encode messages into his game.  He tries manipulating Mario's world in a way that cannot be naturally explained.  Surely this would prove a transcendent being is sending a message.

The problem is that only those present would get the message.  Furthermore, Miyamoto cannot constantly interrupt the natural order of his creation for each citizen of the Mushroom Kingdom.  Everyone knows that constant cheating and world manipulation can ruin the game.  This game was in fact created with a purpose that Miyamoto doesn't want to mess up.   He seeks to guide it along, not interrupt it.  So for a time Miyamoto expects those who witnessed his intervention to spread the word.

A mysterious cave reveals to Link something exists
beyond his own world.  But who is Chris Houlihan?

At long last he cannot take it anymore, and decides he will create an avatar for him to play in the game world itself.  While it would be impossible for his creations to understand Miyamoto himself, he could still make a version of himself which they could understand and communicate to them that way.

So Miyamoto begins to explore his creation.  When he meets up with Mario he is overjoyed and begins to tell Mario how proud he is that Mario has become so wonderful.  He hugs Mario and tells him all about the process of his creation, about whether he should have had a top hat instead, and many other things. 

Mario is shocked.

Who is this guy?  Why does he think he is the creator?

He is just another sprite, a character no more amazing than any other.

Miyamoto tells Mario, "I am not of this world, but from a higher one."  Mario cannot understand, because he has climbed the tallest vines and there is nothing up there.  Miyamoto can only explain it in cryptic ways, because there is no way for Mario to understand a world he has not and cannot ever see, a world which is beyond his comprehension because it is beyond his own existence, and every tool of knowledge Mario employs cannot reach beyond his existence.

Miyamoto tells him:  "I encoded your being, I hold it together, I predestined each level, I know each of your battles, I have seen you in the grassy plains and the dark castles.  When you are weak I provide the mushroom, when you are strong, I bring on a tough foe.  Truly I tell you, before you had ever taken your first step forward, I was there.  Long after the end boss I will be there still.  Be assured I am with you, and you will crush Bowser under your heel, and lead the Mushroom Kingdom to victory over its enemies.  I have foreordained it."

Mario feeling very confused and disturbed decides it's time to back away.  Miyamoto realizes that he cannot simply persuade Mario, and decides to reveal himself in a grander way. 

Miyamoto, using debugging tools, drops an enormous mass of mushrooms in front of Mario.  Miyamoto changes the air to water, and Mario takes a swimming pose in the middle of the sky.  Mario stares in disbelief.  Miyamoto materializes Bowser in a dress, then just as quickly sends him flying into the air with a snap of his fingers.  Miyamoto continues to rain items down with a grand smile until Mario is convinced that this man is not a normal character.  From then on Mario chooses to believe everything Miyamoto says.

From him Mario learns tricks, including warp whistles, which levels have secrets (like unlocking a mushroom house by gathering all the coins)  how to best take out Lakitu, and the number of levels left until the final boss.  He fills up Mario's open slots with P wings and sends him on his way with the message that the creator is very proud of his creation and loves them all dearly.  Mario spends a great deal of time telling the story and explaining to everyone he can find that Miyamoto exists and will ensure the Mushroom Kingdom's success.  Some believe.  Many don't.  Mario can do nothing but retell the story until Miyamoto one day returns.









In the same way, God has shown miracles to His people, and expressed himself in incredible ways which were expected to be shared through the generations, like the plagues of Egypt and the splitting of the Red Sea.  Jesus was God himself, come down into a form we could understand, and He showed who He was by His power finally being crucified to bear sin and the curse of the Law for us, and resurrected in power to lead the way to glory. 

This painting called Crucifixion (Corpus Hypercubus) by Salvador Dali shows Christ being crucified on a cross which is actually an expression of a four dimensional cube (called a tesseract) unfolded into three dimensions.  Our minds cannot understand a four dimensional cube.  This represents God's transcendence being shown to us in a way we could understand:  God come down as man. 

Posts from around 2007 that don't embarrass me #4

Wherein thinking about my muscles leads to examining my fate

Much to my surprise, my muscles are growing.  Not really.  I'm not so caught up in myself that I must fix my image in order to feel like I am accomplishing something.  I am supposing however, that perhaps one day, I will be called to action, to take up the honorable cause of protecting a child, or perhaps a woman.  (really, and don't hate me, I believe a woman is much finer, and much more a a woman, when she does not take steroids, and does not have wild testosterone production in her body.)  I think this would be enough honor for my life.  If I could, say, give up my own self, for that of a helpless child, perhaps of a wonderful lass, I do believe that I would feel my life's purpose fulfilled.  I would need nothing else. 
I may very well WANT something else.  A wonderful marriage, perhaps.  Something like a billion kids, who all look like me and my life's love in small ways.  Maybe a relaxing number of years, wherein I feel comfortable in only my underwear, or maybe on a boat.  I should say I desire a girl who, with nothing to do on thursdays, learns to dance with me.  What type of dance?  Swing.  I should very well thank Amos for that revelation.   (2013 edit:  I am not cut out for it so far)
We could stop and make sure we are not so caught up in the troubles of life, that we cannot enjoy the grass, or the moon and stars.  Even the children playing "white trash tag" and "war", and building sandcastles at the park.  Sure they are evil down to their core nature, and our society that spares the rod, is spoiling it's children.  Yet, they are still adorable.  He still loves them, and He still carries them in his loving arms.  It's breathtaking knowledge. 

These things are still my desires, and not my needs.  I am not so concerned with myself, that I should work towards these desires, until I am sure I have a divine permission.  If I am to die the death of a martyr, I should not feel glad to condemn my offspring to foster homes, where they will not be taught properly, or loved like only a father can love them. 
Should I attain the title of "Father" someday, I would have it be more important than everything, on par with the love of my wife, although far below my love for my own Heavenly Father.  And in His love, my love would be a stark contrast to the worldy love of so many broken faithless couples. 
This I desire more than anything.  To love my wife, and my children.  To shower them with sparkling joy, a rich sorrow, a deep enduring faith, to which I will cultivate in their hearts a longing for our Lord that may surpass my own, so they may carry out our Father's will in their own bleak future.  Yet, this is only my desire. 
My need is simply this.  To protect.  To love.  To obey.  And perhaps, to die, in courage and honor, in the name of our Lord.
It is 11:52 on tuesday night, July 24, 2007.  With joy I wait patiently for what is next. 

(2013 edit:  In June I will have a son named Benaiah.)

Posts from around 2007 that don't embarrass me #3

I used to be an astronaut!

I clung to the controls,
flying past the stars.
colors blurred together,
I used visit mars.

I met myself a monkey,
touched down by an antennae.
He seemed to be upset,
until I gave him a banana.

I dropped him off at earth,
we didn’t see eye to eye.
he didn’t have a soul,
and he made the place a stye.

My mind grew overwhelmed,
It went out of control.
I began to lose perspective,
isolation took it’s toll.

I took the stars for granted,
I scoffed at all creation.
I stopped searching for knowledge,
I docked at a space station.

I sat down at a bar,
I smoked some cigarettes.
I was bitter about everything,
I started making up regrets.

I listened to this band,
they wore make-up and dyed hair.
They sang about their sorrow,
About how life just wasn’t fair.

I was mad at myself,
for acting just the same.
These kids are doing just fine,
They’re faking and it’s lame.

I got up off my chair,
I tried to think up answers.
maybe I should find a girl,
amongst the trendy dancers.

She could save me from some things,
the boring life I lead.
maybe she could meet,
These lame emotional needs.

I tripped over my stool,
I fell flat on my face.
I dreamt in Japanese,
And awoke in a strange place.

On a stretcher in the medbay,
I cough and choke and laugh.
Where did I go wrong?
I smile at the medical staff.

blood runs down my face,
I must have broken my nose.
I dab it on my fingers,
I smile and wiggle my toes.

I begin to draw a picture,
of stars and suns and moons.
they dance in halogen light,
my astronaut cartoons.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I used to be an astronaut,
I used to travel a lot.
I don’t really ever miss it,
I wouldn’t mind if I forgot.

I’m sure someone else wants it,
I would bless you on your mission.
All I ever earned
was a bitter disposition.

Now I’m sleeping in a house,
light shines through in the morning.
I work in fields and sing songs,
I offer children this one warning-

It’s not as simple as being yourself,
or following your own dreams.
Someone may have played you,
They bred in you those schemes.

You’ll find what you want,
Is not at all what you thought.
you’ll follow all their dreams,
you’ll be everything they’ve taught.

You’ll find pleasure in the sky,
yet, it will not last long.
You’ll feel the desperation,
You’ll feel you don’t belong.

I was there once I know,
my heart was filled with taint.
It took me breaking my nose,
and playing with fingerpaint-

to finally realize,
I used to love my life.
I think I just wanted love,
maybe a child and a wife.

who knows?

Posts from around 2007 that don't embarrass me #2

Ben the Robot

I am bold, sharp, and I am restless;
I am heartless but not without emotion.
I've never often confessed this;
I'm a cyborg with a passion for destruction!

I don't run on electricity...
I'm not too partial to math, you see..
I look sort of rough, but you need not feel pity,
I cough and I laugh, and I kiss this girl who's pretty.

I'm like the bad guy from Ferngully,
I'm hated and I eat pollution;
Born of disaster in Chernobyl, the city, (sidenote:  Chernobyl's disaster happened the year I was born)
I'm made of nuclear retribution.

I'm the resolution to your evolution,
You feel pain? I am the solution,
I am a herald of absolution,
I am the mode of execution.

I'm a walking talking time bomb,
you can't really get far enough away,
but I'm not too bad to hang around,
so just ease back and enjoy the day. 

Posts from around 2007 that don't embarrass me. #1

Something that has made me cry, in an effort to understand why

I am still not an emotional kid.  I am not a sissy.  I am set against the world, and daily refined to meet it head on.  I do not cry for stupid reasons, and it is not often.  So here is something that has made me cry, perhaps in some effort to learn something, or at least to be self-reflective. 

1.  Lord of the Rings - when the people of (the R word nation, the horse guys) are on their way to Helms Deep, they are attacked (by worg riders).  The blond girl with the crazy eyes says "stay together" while leading the people. 

For some reason, out of the blue, her simple statement "stay together" gets me right in the heartstrings. 

Why? - I think lately I have been dwelling on despair.  I have thought of depravity, of murder, of godlessness.  Everything I call abominable.  I have felt surrounded by darkness.  The shows I watched, the movies I watched, the music I listened to, the games I played, the news, the words of educated and common men with no fear of God- they are all burdening me so much.  They did not bother me before, but now they scream at me.  The suffering, the darkness, the hopelessness...  It feels like it is surrounding me.  I do not feel alone, I do not lack hope myself.  It is my brothers and sisters I am so anxious for. 

I fear that my brothers and sisters have fallen for a quick three step program to becoming a Christian, and now, being weak and ill prepared are attacked on many sides.  They get, at best, an hour of inspirational talk every Sunday.  They do not take sin seriously.  They are shocked when the world hates them, not knowing it hated Christ first.  The loud and confident words of godless men, unrelenting, cause doubt.  My brothers do not know the power of God, and their strength is so weak.  They turn away, and to what?  Weakness causes them to seek an escape from adversity. 

I am burdened, and I throw myself in with them.  If they would die, "than I will die as one of them."  These are mine too, as I am theirs.  Be they Baptist or Lutheran or Christian or otherwise.  If they would serve Christ, even if in weakness they may not know how, I would be theirs, for I am weak too.  I've felt like we are surrounded. 

Somehow this was on my mind as I watched this classic movie.  The hopelessness in this movie when all continually seems lost is something I resonated with.  Of course, so is the call for hope.  Somehow, by some artistic providence, this little scene matched perfectly the thoughts I am burdened with.  The people, poor and weak, previously manipulated, are going to some stronghold.  In their weakest they are attacked.  The strong ride out to meet the enemy(and my heart beats quickly) and she shouts, as I have heard in my own time in my own context "stay together." 

This is my own plea. 

Assassin's Creed Thoughts

I am a fierce Christian.  Meaning I am attractive, way too intelligent, very capable, able to open beer with my eye sockets, carry a small family on my back, and able to reload a combat shotgun with 8 in the magazine and one in the chamber in less then 2 seconds.  The list goes on.  Well, wait, I am getting off track.  What I mean is, I am a Christian of the variety that would die before giving up my faith.  I would hold onto my faith despite shame from every individual in the world, and die shamed hated and faithful.  If by some weakness I could not uphold these words, I at least now work and fight to be such a man.  Because my bottom and central identity is that of a Christian, a biblical one, fully aware of every horror in the Bible, and fully aware of the glory of the Character of God,  I must always judge everything that comes my way from that perspective.  I love stories and that love manifests itself as a love of books, movies, and these days, video games. 

In any case, today I may have a job, so to celebrate the fact that I have leisure time again, instead of just worthless unemployed limbo, I am playing Assassin's Creed 3.  During the first game they established that Moses and Jesus were liars who only used the alien technology called the pieces of Eden to manipulate large crowds.  This was a huge bummer for me as I am at the bottom of it all a sincere Christian, and also a lover of good narrative, and this series has some excellent historical tie-ins.  I love to invest in characters, and consider what they are going through.  I love to do my best to dive into the narrative.  For this game I have to sort of "suspend my belief" to get into the narrative.

So here I am so many games in, and the sole drive of the characters is to save the world.  From a sun flare.  It's getting a little tough to enjoy.

I see that there are ancient humans with a higher existence, which ancient cultures based their religions on.  Cool.  I once found that the whole drama between the Templars and Assassins was cool.  However, after the first few hours as Haythem Kenwhatever, the big twist comes (spoiler) where it turns out he is a Templar and not an Assassin.  So I've got this time spent as a Templar, which was largely the exact same as what it's like to be an Assassin.  The only difference is one seeks order and control, and the other seeks to mess up the order and control.  Big freakin whoop!  I have a very hard time understanding why our culture can feel like they are the good guys in this game, instead of just one of the types of guys there is.  I am not dumb enough to just jump behind anarchy for the hell of it.  Why fight for anything but what is right?  or what is good? but we have established that there is no "good" and so I am forced to march on to relativist garbage, feeling no real motivation to do anything I am compelled by the game designer to do.  The Assassin's say themselves in the Assassin's Creed that "nothing is true and everything is permissible."  If I suspend my belief in God for the sake of immersing myself in a narrative, the first thing that I think is "if the protagonist follows the creed, who gives a grand crap what the templars do?" Nothing matters at all. 

This ruins the story.  Why am I killing people?  Why is it an Assassin's job to save the world?  Don't the Templars want to save the world too if just for themselves?  And ultimately, why save the world?  I don't give a bag of butts what happens to a godless world.  This place is a cesspit.  If there is no redemption or sanctification in the universe, then it would be best if all the filth and horror and all the illusory beauty and bullcrap ethics were just put out of their no-god-forsaken misery. What is the ultimate goal of the game?  To ensure that the horrors of existence persist longer.  How awful!  With no hope, what is the point of fighting for more pain and sorrow and horror?  If there is no value in what is good, and no point in what is beautiful (beyond the useless need to perpetuate your own worthless DNA), then what is the point?  How awful to go on chasing beauty or pleasure like a drug, always reeling afterwards from withdrawel, needing more and more each time to feel ok?  Dying old, miserable, weak, and with ultimately no real meaning and no real affect on the bullcrap existence you suffered through?

So, allowing myself to go along with the narrative, I am compelled to root for Brother Sun.  

Burn this suck world out of its misery. 

I haven't finished it yet, but something tells me the natural desire of the writer will not be to die in a fireball, and they will probably go for the whole "survive the apocalypse" trope. 

Update:  I have finished it, and I am sincerely bummed out to find that even if the sun destroys the world, suck will go on.  The ultimately negative portrayel of my faith reborn through Desmond was a bit agitating (though I am an open minded individual, I am also a closed hearted individual, so I try to go along with it for narative.) It seems the the writers are communicating a belief about Christianity in the alternative future vision.  The belief would be that Jesus was just such a man, who taught good things, which were twisted and He was unknowingly deified by his followers.  This reflects many beliefs, and certainly the entire liberal half of Biblical scholarship, but us believers have our reasons to believe otherwise, and it is always a bummer to see these ideas perpetuated in media to the masses I am to take the gospel to.  Although, it's fine, I don't mind too much, if the Holy Spirit does not move on you, you may not have any reason to really believe Jesus was and said He was, God.  I did find that the portrayel of the "good teaching" which became used for evil was also a reflection of how they see historical Christianity.  I am ok with this.  I still enjoy how even the fiercest haters of my faith can be impressed with the teachings of Jesus.  I honor the tendency of men to do this as a good thing.  

The naval battles were way cool, the homesteading missions were a delight, though TOTALLY out of place. "Hello, oh you want to date this huntress? I will help you get her a gift... hold on while I kill tons of men and woman for a poorly defined cause I have no reason to feel passion for. Ok I am back, give her away at the wedding? absolutely!"

I did not hate Desmond, and it is a bit of a bummer to see him go.  I hope he lives on some transcendent way.  All in all, worth my time, and a very useful way to keep at least the basement dwelling culture talking about history, origins and faith, albeit in a very skeptical, history doubting/hating and weasel faced sort of way. 

Final Note:  I would love to dink around in an Animus for years.  It would replace every other way I spend time.  I realize most if not all of my ancestors would be totally boring, but think of all the awesome stuff you could learn about history, and how many awesome trades would you learn?  Maybe I could come out an artist, able to actually write, a fine preacher, a sailor, a commander of troops, or maybe I could get experience as a king, experience with a sword, knowledge of how to be a cooper, how to breed horses, who knows.  How interesting to be a good father, or a child abandoned, a war deserter, a hero, just some regular farmer.  It'd be amazing to hear news of events I learned about through history.   No matter what your pedigree, you could come out with excessive lifetimes of valuable experience, and plenty of valuable knowledge.  You would be a different person altogether, with a soul ancient and wise far far far beyond your years.

Shotgun Pattern 4

I am beyond the point of return for my temporary lay off.  I don't think I'm going back.  I hate not working, so I have been looking for a job here and there, but I guess now it's time to begin in earnest.  I know for a fact I am not in this position for no reason.  The question would be, what is the reason?  Am I here because there is something special in store for me, some job not available yet?  Am I here to reorient my life, set new goals that God wants me focused on?  Am I just being disciplined for some deep hidden sin?  I know God has used "cleanness of teeth" as a way to discipline His people awake (Amos 4) to return to His righteousness, and I call myself part of his people since the sheet vision and the conversion of Cornelius (Acts 10).  I sincerely would not be displeased to find that there was some continuing sin in our lives that needed our attention.  After all, Jesus promises that if we seek the Kingdom and seek God's righteousness, all the necessities of life would be added to us.  He knows that I know this.  Could the danger of poverty awaken me to the fact that i am not seeking his righteousness?  The pain of struggling would do that, but as difficult as this time has been, it has still been true that we are well cared for by His providence.  I'm not saying he starves us at all, only that God is fully aware that I already equate livelihood with righteousness.  If He chose to send a message that way, He knows I would get it.  Because I know I would get it, and He knows what I know. 

There are more things to consider.  For example, since being laid off I have been blessed to get more involved at church.  This creates a real problem for me.  While I someday hope to be a minister in the right capacity, something about going to ministry because I am unemployed feels weak.  I guess I always thought I should overcome work, and become a minister in strength, not because I got laid off.  But if God wanted me to reorient my life, this could be a way of sending a message.  I do feel like I was not involved in the work of the kingdom while simply working as an electrician.  Since such a life bore no fruit, maybe I lost it, to be disciplined and reoriented.  STILL, it feels like a crap move to try to hop into ministry since I apparently can't hack it in the real world.  That's not what happened, I was just layed off due to lack of work, but it still feels like it. 

I could easily imagine something more grand coming out of this.  My son's name is Benaiah, meaing YHWH builds up, or the Lord builds up.  I named him that because I thought it was a strong fitting name, but part of it was that he was a total surprise.  How OT is it to name your child after circumstances surrounding his birth, amiright?  Me and Rachel had planned on living in a Motor home, sacrificing comfort and space, in order to produce more money then we spend to survive.  I made a lot while an electrician living here.  If that could have continued, I'd be doing great.  I got laid off, and then two days later I had a son on the way.  God made that happen.  Not in a miraculous way, we did the work, but the timing was not our timing.  Now we have a whole different life to plan for, and things have just been crazy.  I've gotten to do jobs for people, I did some home improvement work for a few friends, and I got to spend time with my nephew, all of which felt timely and took care of money issues, and encouraged my soul.  So it could be that I am just waiting for some grand thing to happen.  All of this is planned for glory, not destruction.  I don't know. 

I don't think I have begun behaving too differently since moving here, so I've got kinda this Jobish "what the heck?" deal here.  I'm still a sinner, don't get me wrong, but I live a posture of repentance, there is nothing left unrepented at the moment.  I trust in Grace, and follow Christ the best I can, even if at times it is a crawl.

I got the opportunity to teach the Book of Ruth to middle school kids.  Until volunteering I had no experience with them.  There was the time I WAS one, and there is the way I glare at them as they swagger home from school cussing and littering.  I hope it is not too dull when I explain the laws surrounding redemption of the land, (Lev 25:23) the welfare for poor and foreign (Lev 19:9-10) or the kinsman redeemer law (Deut 25:5-10) being the center of Ruth's drama.

It's tough to describe a love story which is so great when understood in its own terms, but so far from us in our modern culture.  And never mind that I'll be talking to middle school kids about something their parents have probably never heard. 

I guess I need to get on some activities or illustrations to keep them edu-tained.